“Are you serious?” I said.
“Dead serious,” Big Bill said, and I don’t think he even meant to make a pun. “There have been three attempts so far, and I’m just lucky none of them succeeded.”
“What kind of attempts?” Richard wanted to know.
“The first was three weekends ago, when I went up to my cabin to do some hunting. The first morning I was there, a bullet went right by my head. Another inch, and I wouldn’t be here now.”
“Hunting accidents aren’t that uncommon,” I said. “Somebody could have thought you were a deer.”
“A deer with a bright-orange hat and jacket?” Before I could object further, he added, “I know, people get killed every year, even when they’re dressed properly. The thing is, I own all the land around that cabin, and there’s not supposed to be anybody else nearby.”
“Nobody’s ever trespassed before?” I asked skeptically.
“Laurie Anne, you’re not saying a thing I didn’t think myself. I assumed it was an accident, too, until the other incidents.”
“What else has happened?”
“The next weekend, Maggie and I were at an auction. We ended up staying late talking to some people, and by the time we got out to the car, the lot was nearly empty, and quite dark.”
“It was Red Clark’s place,” Aunt Maggie put in, “and you know Red is too cheap to put up lights in the parking lot.”
Big Bill went on. “We were loading boxes in Maggie’s car, when a pickup truck came from nowhere and nearly hit me. If I hadn’t dropped the box I was carrying and ducked behind another car, he’d have got me.”
Aunt Maggie said, “That truck ran right over that box, so the driver must have known he hit something, even if it wasn’t Bill; but he didn’t even slow down.”
I started to object to that, too, but realized that there was no explanation I could suggest that Aunt Maggie and Big Bill wouldn’t have considered first. “Anything else?”
Big Bill nodded and went a little pale. “The last one was the worst. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I bought up that apartment building on Debbie-Carroll Road.”
“I thought they were going to tear that place down,” I said, remembering what an eyesore it was.
“We may as well have, considering the amount of work it’s taken to fix it up. I’m converting it into condos.”
A few years ago I’d have laughed at the idea of condos in Byerly, but a fair number of folks had moved to town because it was close enough to Hickory to commute, and a lot cheaper.
Big Bill said, “I went over there last week to see how it was going—I’ve been making a point of checking things out every Thursday morning. I don’t let the foreman show me around, either. I rummage around on my own—that’s the only way to be sure it’s being done right. They’d just finished putting in bathrooms for the units on the first floor, so that’s where I went first. The first two bathrooms looked fine; a couple of taps needed to be tightened up, but nothing major. When I got to the third one, I noticed a puddle of water coming out the door. I yelled for the foreman to get over there and went to see what the problem was. If he hadn’t been nearby…” He swallowed visibly. “I was a split second away from stepping into that water when the foreman pulled me back because he’d heard a snapping sound. There was a live wire in the water.” He paused to make sure we got the point.
“How much voltage?” I asked.
“Enough to fry me like a piece of chicken.”
I wrinkled my nose at the picture that put into my head. “Do you know who’s doing this?”
“If I knew who it was, do you think he’d still be walking around?” Big Bill said peevishly.
“Do you have any enemies?”
“Of course I do,” he said. “Do you think I’ve gotten where I am without making enemies? I’ve got a list as long as my arm.” He sounded almost pleased, as if it were something to be proud of. “All I’ve got to do is figure out which one of them it is.”
“All we’ve got to do,” Aunt Maggie corrected him.
“That’s right,” he said with a smile for her. “My new wife is here to help.”
“What about the police?” I said. “Don’t you think Junior could help, too?”
“I don’t need her help.”
I started to object, but Big Bill held up one hand to stop me. “She’s a fine chief of police, but there’re some things a man needs to do for himself.”
Aunt Maggie rolled her eyes. “What he means is that if we called Junior, she’d ask a lot of questions that Bill doesn’t want to answer.”
“Why not? Are you doing anything illegal?” I asked.
“Absolutely not!” Big Bill snapped. “That doesn’t mean I want Junior Norton sticking her nose into my business.”
I wasn’t convinced that all of Big Bill’s dealings were completely on the up-and-up, but saw no reason to argue the point. Especially since now he was my great-uncle. “Then why didn’t you call Richard and me? We do have some experience in this kind of thing. Or do you not trust us, either?”
“Of course we trust you, Laurie Anne,” Aunt Maggie said. “We just figured with the new baby, y’all wouldn’t want to get mixed up in something like this.”
“Alice does keep me busy,” I said, “but not so busy I can’t help my family when I’m needed.” Not to mention the fact that as much as I loved being with my little girl, after seven months of maternity leave I was getting restless to do something a little more mentally challenging than changing diapers. Alice wasn’t exactly a good conversationalist, and was no good at all for gossip.
“I knew you’d come if I asked,” Aunt Maggie assured me. “The other thing was that Bill doesn’t want everybody and his kid brother knowing somebody has been trying to kill him.”
Darned if she hadn’t hurt my feelings again. “Richard and I can keep a secret!”
She gave me a look. “How many times have you been mixed up in some murder or another? Do you honestly think people wouldn’t notice you asking questions? How long would it take for folks to figure out that something was going on?”
“You’ve got a point,” I had to admit.
“Besides,” Big Bill said, “we figured we could handle it ourselves. As many murderers as you two have tracked down, how hard could it be?”
“Oh, not hard at all,” I said dryly. “Have you got it all figured out yet?”
“Not quite,” Big Bill said, “but we’re making good progress.”
Though Aunt Maggie rolled her eyes, she didn’t contradict him out loud.
Richard said, “Not that I’m not concerned about Big Bill’s welfare, but I’m having trouble seeing how this connects to your recent nuptials.”
What with all the talk of attempted murder, I’d nearly forgotten about them getting married.
Aunt Maggie looked at Big Bill, but he just shrugged and said in an irritable tone, “You’ve told them this much. Why stop now?”
“That last attempt shook Bill up a bit,” Aunt Maggie said.
“It would have shaken up anybody!” Big Bill said angrily.
“Nobody’s saying you didn’t have a right to be worried. Shoot, my hair would be as white as yours if it had happened to me.”
Big Bill nodded, mollified.
“Anyway,” Aunt Maggie went on, “he came over to my place afterward and we talked it all out. We know it’s nigh onto impossible for anybody to be on guard twenty-four hours a day. A man’s got to sleep some time, so Bill needed somebody to watch his back. That’s where I come in.”
“Couldn’t Big Bill have hired a bodyguard?” I said.
“That would have scared off the killer!” Big Bill said.
“Why would that be a bad thing?” Richard wanted to know.
“Because then I wouldn’t get a chance to catch him,” Big Bill said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “There’s no way that son of a—that so-and-so is going to get away with trying to kill Big Bill Walters.” He drew himself up to his full height.
“Besides,” Aunt Maggie said, “Bill couldn’t keep a bodyguard around forever, which means that all the killer would have to do is wait and then try again. Better to find out who it is sooner rather than later.”
Aunt Maggie’s explanation made more sense to me than Big Bill’s reasoning, but there was still a piece missing. “Okay, I can see why Big Bill wanted you around, Aunt Maggie, but why get married? Why not just move in temporarily, or have him stay with you?”
Big Bill let out a noise that could only have been a guffaw, and at first I thought he was laughing at the idea of his staying at the Burnette home place, which was admittedly not up to the standards of the Walters mansion. Then I saw Aunt Maggie’s expression.
“Move in, just like that?” she said in a scandalized tone. “Laurie Anne, maybe girls your age don’t care about such things, but I’m not about to have the town of Byerly talking about me behind my back. I’ve got my reputation to think about.”
“‘The purest treasure mortal times afford is spotless reputation.’ King Richard II, Act I, Scene 1,” Richard said so solemnly that only I knew how close he was to snickering.
As for me, I did know what she was talking about, even if being a “good girl” wasn’t something that I’d ever worried about myself. Of course, with her clothes and occasionally abrupt manner, Aunt Maggie already had a reputation in Byerly as an eccentric, but Southerners like a good eccentric, and I’d long suspected that Aunt Maggie took pride in being one of the best in town.
“Has it worked?” I asked. “I mean, have you learned anything? Have there been any more attempts on Big Bill’s life?”
“Not a one,” Aunt Maggie said, “and no matter what Bill says, we don’t have any idea who’s after him.”
I looked at Richard with a question in my eyes, and he hesitated, looking at Alice. Then he nodded, so I said, “Do you want Richard and me to help?”
“That would be great,” Aunt Maggie said, but at the same time, Big Bill was saying, “That won’t be necessary.”
The two of them glared at each other again. Big Bill said, “Maggie, I told you I wanted us to handle this ourselves.”
“And I said I’d try, which I have, but we’ve got nothing.”
“That’s not true.” He waved at the stack of papers on his desk. “We’ve got these threatening letters to go through—I bet we’ll figure out who it is from these.”
“Those are all threats?” I said, looking at the two-inch-thick stack. Other than bills and solicitations, I didn’t get that many letters in a year.
Neither of them answered me. “We decided—” Big Bill started, and Aunt Maggie countered with, “You decided and I went along. But that was before Laurie Anne came to town, and I think—”
Alice chose that moment to start crying.
“I think she’s picking up on the tension,” Richard said accusingly, and plucked her from Aunt Maggie’s arms to comfort her.
“You see, Maggie,” Big Bill said, “they can’t be chasing after a murderer when they’ve got a baby to tend to.”
I was tempted to argue with him, but then I felt the tingle that meant my milk was starting to let down because of Alice’s crying. Maybe Big Bill was right. “Excuse me,” I said, “I’ve got to feed Alice.”
“Do you want me to get Irene to warm up a bottle?” Big Bill asked.
“I’m not bottle-feeding,” I said.
“Oh? Oh!” He started for the door. “I need to be getting back to work, anyway—I’ll just use one of the other rooms.”
“This discussion isn’t over, Bill Walters,” Aunt Maggie yelled to his rapidly retreating back.
Alice wailed again, and Aunt Maggie looked repentant. “Maybe I better leave y’all alone.”
After Aunt Maggie closed the door behind her, I took a deep breath, wanting to release some of my own tension before nursing Alice. Then I settled down on the couch, undid my blouse, and reached for her.
Richard, who was used to the procedure after seven months, helped me get her situated, then sat down beside me. “It looks as if we’re in for another relaxing visit.”
“Sorry about that. I bet you wish you’d married into another family.”
“No other family could have produced somebody as wonderful as you,” he said, and kissed my cheek. “Not to mention our little princess here.”
“Do all daddies call their little girls princesses?”
“Purely conceit on our part. It’s our way of complimenting ourselves, since the father of a princess has to be a king.”
“I never thought of that. Does that make me a queen?”
“Of course. The queen of my heart.”
“I hope that when Alice learns to talk she talks as pretty as you do.” Aunt Maggie had been worried about her first words being cuss words, but with a Boston College Shakespeare professor as a father, she was more likely to start spouting Elizabethan prose. Or maybe she’d speak bits and bytes first, since she had a computer programmer for a mother.
I knew it was the hormones surging as I nursed her, but I was feeling almost serene right then, despite the oddity of the situation. “I cannot believe I’m nursing our baby in the Walters mansion. Or that Big Bill is married to Aunt Maggie.”
“Or that somebody is trying to kill him?”
“No, that part I can believe.”
“Is that any way to talk about your own uncle?”
“He’s only an uncle by marriage. Not that Big Bill isn’t a nice man in his own way, or Aunt Maggie wouldn’t give him the time of day, let alone her hand in marriage. But he’s a lot more mellow now than he used to be. According to everything I’ve heard, he was a ruthless businessman in his time, and he’s still a tough man to work with. I’m sure he’s got plenty of enemies. Look at that stack of hate mail on his desk.”
“Do you think we should?” Richard said with an impish grin.
I was tempted, but shook my head. “We better not. Unless Aunt Maggie gets Big Bill to change his mind, we’re not going to get involved in this.”
“You don’t think she’s going to give up, do you?”
“It’s hard to say. We’re talking about the original irresistible force meeting the archetypal immovable object. In other words, they’re both as stubborn as mules.”
“It must be a family trait,” he said.
“Keep it up, and you can be on diaper duty all week!”
“Anything but that,” he said with a mock quaver in his voice. Or maybe not mock. Alice’s diapers were pretty scary. “But back to the matter at hand. Are you going to stay uninvolved just because Big Bill says so?”
“Isn’t that enough?”
“Laura, no offense, but telling you not to do something is generally the best way to get you to do it.”
“Diaper duty for sure,” I said, but he was right. “Okay, usually I would see it as a challenge, but this time I’m going to abide by Big Bill’s wishes. For one, I don’t see how much good we could do if he doesn’t want us to help. Sure, we could snoop around and find out some of the gossip, but Big Bill is pretty good at keeping his business to himself.”
“Don’t forget that very available stack of letters,” Richard said, starting to get up. “That would give us a place to start.”
“Sit down. The other problem is that he’s married to Aunt Maggie.”
“Having a family member involved generally guarantees our involvement.”
“I’m not talking about family, I’m talking marriages. As old as they are, Aunt Maggie and Big Bill are still newlyweds, and I don’t want to add stress and strain to a brand-new marriage. This one’s got enough working against it as it is.”
“But they only got married so Aunt Maggie could protect Big Bill,” Richard said. “It’s not a real marriage, is it?”
“I don’t know, Richard. I can’t see Aunt Maggie promising to love, honor, and cherish Big Bill unless she meant it. Even if they did use Bill’s situation as an excuse, how do we know they weren’t moving toward marriage already? I don’t want to mess it up.”
“You’re a hopeless romantic, you know?” he said, kissing me again, more thoroughly than before.
Richard was so thorough, in fact, that it took a minute for the tap on the door to register. By the time I realized that somebody had knocked, Burt Walters was walking in the door.
If nursing a baby in Big Bill’s house had felt surreal, that was nothing to how I felt having Burt in the same room as me when my shirt was open. Sure, I had a cloth thrown over my shoulder so nothing actually showed, but I still wasn’t completely dressed, and I could tell from the way Burt’s face turned bright red, that he knew it, too.
“Uh, hello there,” he stammered. “I thought you were my daddy. I mean, I thought Daddy would be in here. But he’s not and you are and…” I think Burt is an inch or two taller than his father, but Big Bill has so much personality that he seems a lot bigger than his son. Burt kept his hair dyed dark, and I was always surprised he didn’t try to bleach it to the same pure white as his father’s. As far as I could tell, that hair was the only thing he willingly did differently from his father.
Before Burt could figure out what he really wanted to say, Big Bill pushed past him, with Aunt Maggie following.
“Don’t you ever knock?” Big Bill said, sounding irritated.
“I did knock,” Burt protested. “Nobody answered.”
“Then why did you come in? Were you planning to nose around while I wasn’t here?”
“Of course not, Daddy.” Burt looked even more flustered. “I thought you hadn’t heard me.”
“So you wanted to sneak up on me?”
“No, I just…” Probably realizing the futility of the argument, Burt changed the subject. “I brought you those numbers you wanted from the mill.”
He held out some sheets of paper, and Big Bill snatched them away. “Aren’t you even going to speak to your stepmother?”
I was impressed when Burt managed to smile. “Hey, Miz Burnette.” Then he caught the thunderous expression on his father’s face. “I mean, Maggie.” Big Bill looked even more angry. “I mean…” Burt swallowed. “You know, we’ve never worked out what I should be calling you now.”
“You could call her Mrs. Walters, since she’s my wife!” Big Bill growled.
Aunt Maggie took pity on Burt. “That’s a mite too formal for every day,” she said. “I don’t think you’d feel right calling me Maggie, and I’m not your mama, so we won’t even go there. Why not call me Aunt Maggie? Would that go down easier?”
“Yes, ma’am,” Burt said. “I mean, yes, Aunt Maggie.” Before his father could chide him again, he added, “It’s good to see you, too, Laurie Anne, Richard. That must be the new baby I’ve heard so much about.”
“Yes, sir, this is Alice.”
“Now, don’t call me ‘sir,’” Burt said. “Like Daddy said, we’re all family now.” He beamed at his father, looking like a puppy hoping to be rewarded for a clever trick.
Unfortunately, the only treat he got was Big Bill barking, “What in the Sam Hill is going on down there at the mill? These numbers are a joke!”
Burt hurried to his father’s side. “Let me explain what I’ve done,” he started, and the two of them started speaking business or accounting or some other language I don’t know.
While they were distracted, I decided that Alice had nursed long enough and managed to detach her, hand her off to Richard for burping, and get my shirt put together again. While I knew mothers who assured me that breastfeeding was as natural as breathing and that there was no reason on earth a woman shouldn’t nurse her child anywhere, I still didn’t like doing it in public.
Burt and Big Bill finished their money talk, with Big Bill looking disgruntled and Burt looking worried. But Burt managed to pull up another smile and stepped over to Richard.
“Now, that is a pretty baby,” he said to Richard as he gently chucked her under the chin. “Every inch a Burnette, too.”
“Her head is shaped like Richard’s,” I said again.
“Do you want to come to Uncle Burt?” he cooed at Alice, then stopped. “Or is it Cousin Burt? I’m all confused now.”
“That’s hardly news,” Big Bill said sarcastically.
“Would you like to hold her?” Richard asked, ignoring Big Bill, and passed her over. Burt held her gingerly, but he looked delighted to have a baby in his arms. Maybe this mixing of Burnettes and Walterses was going to work out after all.
Then Big Bill said, “It’s just as well you didn’t have any children, Burt. Having a child that disappoints you is the worst thing on earth.”
Burt’s face went white. Not only was his father being insulting, but the reminder of his childlessness must have stung even more. Burt and his wife had wanted a family, but Dorcas couldn’t carry a child, and the doctors had insisted on a hysterectomy after her last miscarriage.
In a choked voice Burt said, “I better get these reports straightened out.” He handed Alice back to Richard and left without saying another word.
Big Bill stared after him, and I realized Alice was starting to get anxious again. It was amazing how much an infant could pick up on bad feelings, and there were definitely bad feelings between Big Bill and his son. Not to mention my feelings—I was appalled that Big Bill would talk to Burt that way.
Of course, I didn’t think they’d ever had a normal relationship. Big Bill had always favored Small Bill, his firstborn son, even after he got word of Small Bill’s death in Vietnam. Burt had spent his whole life trying to earn the regard his father gave to Small Bill unconditionally, and had never quite managed it. If that weren’t complicated enough, there were facts about Small Bill’s death that Big Bill didn’t know, things I’d discovered almost by accident. Still, I’d never seen Big Bill treat Burt that way in public. Had Burt objected to his father’s new marriage, or was there something else going on?
“Well,” I said, breaking the awkward silence, “Richard and I better get going so we can get ready for the party. Aunt Maggie, are you sure you don’t mind our staying at your place? At your other place, I mean.” Aunt Maggie was the current owner of the Burnette home place, the house where I’d lived myself when being raised by my grandfather Paw, and we usually stayed with her when we were in town.
“Of course I don’t mind,” she said.
“Why don’t you stay here?” Big Bill said, shaking himself out of his angry mood. “There’s plenty of room.”
I looked at Richard, but he shrugged, leaving it up to me. “Thanks, but we’ll be fine at Aunt Maggie’s. Aunt Nora’s already got a crib set up for Alice.”
“All right, then. We’ll see you tonight.”
Richard grabbed the diaper bag, and Aunt Maggie said, “I’ll walk y’all out. Bobbin needs to take a trip to the yard, and I hate to think what Irene Duffield would do if she had an accident.”
I was just as glad, because after seeing the way Big Bill was with Burt, I was starting to realize that there was something missing in what he’d told us, and I thought I knew what it was. The question was, did Aunt Maggie know?
Once we were outside, I let Richard get Alice settled into her car seat while I walked a piece with Aunt Maggie so Bobbin could do her business. “Aunt Maggie, Big Bill thinks he knows who’s trying to kill him, doesn’t he?”
“He says he doesn’t,” she said, but didn’t meet my eyes.
“Then why this marriage?”
“We told you. So he’d have somebody to watch his back.” I hesitated, but had to ask the next question. “Has Big Bill changed his will since y’all got married?”
“If you think I only married him for his money—”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“So why bring it up?”
She was being deliberately ornery, and I knew she was trying to get me off the subject, so I held onto my temper as best I could. “The three big reasons for killing are revenge, sex, and money. Your marriage wouldn’t stop anybody from killing Big Bill for revenge or sex, so there would have been no reason for y’all to get married if either of those were the motive. But money—that’s a different matter.”
“Anybody with as much money as Bill has is always a target,” she said, but still didn’t look me in the eye.
“If Big Bill had died last week, who would have benefited?”
“There are a lot of names in the will.”
“I’m sure he made some bequests, but everybody in town knows that Burt is supposed to inherit everything else. Only now that y’all are married, he’s left it all to you, hasn’t he?” She didn’t answer, but she didn’t contradict me, either, so I followed the thought to its logical conclusion. “Big Bill thinks Burt is trying to kill him, doesn’t he?”
Aunt Maggie didn’t say anything for a long time, just watched Bobbin sniff around the grass. “He hasn’t said so, Laurie Anne, not even to me, but I think you’re right. He just can’t say it out loud. Can you imagine thinking such a thing about your own flesh and blood?”
Seeing how cruel Big Bill had been to Burt, I didn’t feel so kindly toward him. Besides, I’d realized something else. “Aunt Maggie, don’t you realize that Big Bill’s set you up as a target, too?”
“He’s done no such thing!” Aunt Maggie snapped.
“Then what happens if you die before Big Bill, or if you die together? The money will go to Burt after all, won’t it?”
“Yes, but that’s not the point.”
“But—”
“I knew all along that I’d be in danger if Bill and I went through with the wedding. I’m not stupid, Laurie Anne.”
“I know you’re not—”
“Is that right? Then why did you assume that I didn’t realize what was going on?”
“I didn’t assume…” Then I stopped, not sure I’d be telling the truth. “Okay, maybe I did. I’m just worried about you, Aunt Maggie. Big Bill’s got a lot of enemies, whether or not Burt is one of them.”
“I know. That’s why I’m here. Bill doesn’t have anybody else he can trust right now. And nobody, not even Big Bill Walters, should be all by his lonesome when there’s a killer after him. Laurie Anne, when you get to be my age, you’ll realize being alone is scarier than just about anything else.”
I tried to understand what she was saying. I had no particular fear of being alone myself, not with Richard and Alice, plus all my cousins and aunts and uncles. But Big Bill was in a very different place, both because he didn’t have as much family and because of the way he’d lived his life. It was easy to say that he deserved to be alone, but who was I to judge anybody else?
I finally said, “All right, Aunt Maggie, as long as you know what you’re doing, and as long as you know you can call on me or Richard any time you need us.”
“I do know that, Laurie Anne, and I appreciate it.” Then she grinned. “You know, nobody’s tried to mother me since my own mama died—and she didn’t try it all that often. I think your having Alice has gone to your head.”
I wanted to argue with her, but she started laughing, so I figured it wasn’t worth the trouble. She was still laughing at me when we left.